Date: 2026-01-14 · basis: publication date recorded in the magazine inventory
MARSMEATBARS
Signed MARSMEATBARS, the piece poses as an Agency 'agent provocateur' confessing to infiltrating Bitcoin Twitter, group chats, DMs and conference meetups with full medical benefits and a matched 401k. He claims his mission is not to destroy the movement from within but to make Bitcoiners unattractive to precoiners by pushing flat earth, false conspiracies and antisemitism, and cites prior infiltration of Occupy Wall Street, January 6, the Proud Boys, Hells Angels and Black Panthers as precedent. Deadpan tradecraft detail is punctuated with hints ('Applied Physics Lab, March 2009', 'Currency Wars').
Archive summary written from the sources below — not a quotation.
We are the most powerful and skilled intelligence apparatus ever.https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/agent-provocateur/
We want you talking about flat earth.https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/agent-provocateur/
Bitcoin doesn’t care about you or me.https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/agent-provocateur/
Satirical confessional claiming the author is a fed infiltrating Bitcoin Twitter to discredit the movement.
Machine-written summary, not an editorial statement.
Stackchain Magazine article, catalogue item 71, category satire-humor. Summarised by the archive from the published piece; quotes below are verbatim excerpts. Original: https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/agent-provocateur/