Date: 2025-02-17 · basis: publication date recorded in the magazine inventory
Parman
Parman (a pseudonym; the closing note gives @parman_the and armantheparman.com) writes a deadpan clinical paper on Bitcoin Anxiety Syndrome, supposedly newly included in DSM-V-TR and submitted to The Lancet. Symptoms include overwhelming bullishness, panic, resentment and the diagnostic 'GFY' sign, worsened by bitcoin podcasts until patients hit 3x playback speed. Proposed treatments run from stacking sats and assisted self-custody to community meetups, home mining and a research programme of 'daily sunning-of-balls'.
Archive summary written from the sources below — not a quotation.
Have you heard of BAS? It stands for Bitcoin Anxiety Syndrome (Recently included in DSM-V-TR).https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/bitcoin-anxiety-syndrome-bas/
e.g. the “GFY” sign is diagnostichttps://www.stackchainmagazine.net/bitcoin-anxiety-syndrome-bas/
New research we are conducting at our university involves daily sunning-of-balls, with promising early results.https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/bitcoin-anxiety-syndrome-bas/
Fake medical paper diagnosing 'Bitcoin Anxiety Syndrome', complete with treatments and references.
Machine-written summary, not an editorial statement.
Stackchain Magazine article, catalogue item 48, category satire-humor. Summarised by the archive from the published piece; quotes below are verbatim excerpts. Original: https://www.stackchainmagazine.net/bitcoin-anxiety-syndrome-bas/